Testing Times
by babybel
Summary: Hey Im Back! What if two people in the samr relationship both wanted different things?
1. Cold Shoulder

Guess whos Back! I decided to welcome myself back by writing yet another fic, enjoy!

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Testing Times

Chapter One

Cold Shoulder

Opening a packet of spaghetti she snapped it into half, she knew that he had entered the room but did not acknowledge him. Dropping it into the boiling water she sighed as she heard him walk out closing the bathroom door. Since they become serious things hadn't been the same, they both realised that they wanted different things in life. Although this was true both loved each other and this was why neither wanted to end it. To begin with they were inseparable constantly showing affection to one another but now it was a different story. The reaction from each other was frosty and only the odd word was exchanged, they loved each other dearly but did not warm to each other's idea of life. The spaghetti had finished simmering and was being served onto the plate when he walked in and sat down on the table, walking over she handed the plate to him. Barely exchanging words throughout dinner they remained quiet for most of the night until they sat down to watch TV. Putting his around her he attempted to pull her into his arms, pushing away his affections she shifted to a different position on the sofa.

"What's wrong you're acting like I've got avian flu Kerry" Smithy said slightly put out,

"Nothing I just don't feel like it Ok" she replied.

"That's the point Kerry you never do." He said in a raised voice towards her.

"For god sake Smithy you make it sound like its all my fault and its not." She stated, clearly upset.

"What its mine is that what your getting at Kerry?" he shouted back.

Before answering Kerry looked around the room unable to make eye contact, instead of being aggressive in tone her reply was somewhat calm.

"No, it's not your fault Smithy. It's both of ours we can't keep on wanting different things yet still be together. I think we need a break Smithy, and if we decide that its best off being apart then I suppose that's what we should do. Look I'll find a place to stay as soon as I've found one I'll move out."

Clearly shocked by what she said he could not speak instead he went to hold her in his arms. Again pulling away from his affections she said,

"Smithy don't, please."

You could hear the ticking off the clock in the background as they settled into the night. Tucked up on the sofa Kerry lye awake staring at the ceiling, her gaze burning through. Upon the other side of the wall Dale lye with his head buried deeply into the pillow rubbing his hand over his face as he thought about the future. There bodies were racked with pain, they both knew that they couldn't carry on the way that they had been but neither wanted to part. For the entire night they did not move, did not murmur, did not communicate. For a couple so in love it seemed so hard to do, whenever one felt hurt they had each other to cry on but now they had to face the truth and hurt alone.

The sun shone through the gap in the curtains and beamed onto Kerry's face. The burning sensation on her cheek awoke her subconsciously and as she got up she saw a figure sitting at the table.

"What time is it?" She asked, rubbing her eyes.

"Seven." He stated, and then carried on eating the toast that he had made.

"Shit!" She pronounced, jolting up and rushing to the bathroom.

Raising an eyebrow Smithy walked into the kitchen throwing the plate into the washing bowl. Looking at his watch he realised that if he didn't leave soon he would be late briefing the relief, he had no time to wait around for Kerry. Calling out to her he said that he was going but there was no reply instead he walked into the bathroom. Having just stepped out of the tepid shower Kerry was wrapped in a fresh blue towel; seeing Smithy standing at the doorframe she leapt at screamed at him.

"For god sakes Dale, go away I've just got out the shower."

"Well I've seen you in much less so I shouldn't be bothered" He Joked.

"Not funny Dale, look I'll be out of your hair soon; please keep this to ourselves I can't bear all of the jokes about how another one of my relationships have fallen apart." She replied walking into the landing.

"It hasn't fallen apart yet." He said solemnly.

She stopped just before walking into their once shared room to pick up her toiletries, facing him she said,

"Don't make this any harder than it's going to be Dale, please"

" Im not, I still love you and that's never going to change. Love doesn't disappear that easily Kerry." He stated.

She knew that he was right but accepting that he was right would increase the pain that she was going through, blocking out his affections was the only way.

"Haven't you got to go to work Dale? Don't bother waiting around for me I'll just face Gina's wrath when I get to work."

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Thanks for reading! The updates may be a tad slow at the moment due to GCSE's. Please please review! xxxx 


	2. On other sides of the world

Testing Times 

Chapter Two

On Other Sides Of The World

The relief rose up out of their seats as Sergeant Smith completed the morning briefing but before a single person exited the room the door swung open.

"PC Young so happy you managed to fit in work with your busy schedule in my office now." Gina spat sarcastically.

A rosy-cheeked Kerry looked at Smithy before exiting the room, his gaze was fixated on her as she left the room.

"Tch that woman" Gina cursed to herself as she ushered everyone out of the room, seeing Yvonne she tapped her on the shoulder.

"Kerry wont be a minute and then you can go out on the beat ok police constable."

"Ma'am." Yvonne replied.

Closing the door behind her Gina stepped into her office and walked behind her desk, reclining back in her chair she looked Kerry straight in the eye.

She spoke, her words dripping with spite.

"We've been her before haven't we Miss Young and if I can remember rightly its been on a few occasions. Just ask me something how do your colleagues manage to turn up for work on time but it seems to be something you simply cannot manage."

The young woman rose her head and engaged in eye contact upon speaking,

"I had a bad night"

"And that's the best you can come up with. Most of your fellow relief were pouring pints down their necks last night while you were at home, unless you managed to consume a whole distillery I hardly think your excuse is appropriate." Gina spat in retaliation.

Burning with anger the younger woman shot up and shot a reply straight back to her elder.

"If you question everyone of my excuses I hardly see the point in asking as they obviously aren't adequate to you."

"No they are not adequate and if I were you young lady id drop the attitude because the only place that will get you is out on your ear. To make up for your persistent lateness you can do an extra shift tonight, no buts; now hop off."

Walking out of Inspector Golds office she looked in through Dales office window, she noticed the picture of her and Smithy sitting on his desk; another failed relationship she thought to herself. Why could things never go right?

"Bad night?" Yvonne sniggered at Kerry when she reached the patrol car,

"You could say that. I need someone to talk to Yvonne" Kerry said in a solemn voice.

Once in the car Yvonne faced Kerry and smiled, in return Kerry's face was taken over by a wan smile.

"So come on then spill that's what mates are for!"

Yvonne always seemed to brighten the saddest things up for Kerry, no matter what the situation was. Kerry's relationship with Honey on the other hand was less than friendly. Kerry knew that she was at fault when it came to that, although she had made every effort to apologise.

"Its me and Smithy, Yvonne. Were on a break." She said it so bluntly, but Yvonne knew exactly how Kerry felt.

"Though it might be man trouble. You always seemed so suited what went wrong?" Yvonne said as she drove down Sun Hill High Street.

Kerry became irritated and tugged at the seat belt situated across her body; Yvonne could see that this was a sore subject so she helped her out.

"Artistic differences?" She suggested,

Lightening up the situation helped because Kerry started opening up to Yvonne,

"Yeah you could say that. We both wanted different things for our future, it wouldn't have worked."

"You mean you want kids and scrooge doesn't!" Yvonne joked,

"Yvonne, its not his fault he feels that way besides is it that obvious?" Kerry cringed,

"Yep, in that department your complete opposites." Yvonne was cut short when she saw a tear run down Kerry's cheek,

"I love him Yvonne I don't know what to do, maybe your meant to sacrifice things like having children for love." Kerry said showing her true feelings.

"And would you be happy if you gave that up?" She questioned,

Kerry just shrugged and wiped her face,

"Come on we've got a job to do I'm already in Gina's bad books"

Another attempt to hide her feelings.

Yvonne was determined to help her friend, no matter what Kerry had said or done to her that was all in the past, her friend was hurting.

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Thanks for reading xxx The next chapter will have alot of Smithy so don't panic xxxxx Please review and cheer up my day i've been working ever soo hard. And just for you i'm already tackling chapter three! 


	3. Close To Home

Testing Times

Chapter Three

Close To Home

Smithy and Roger approached the Coal Lane estate preparing to attend to a call out, they were not fully aware of the situation but knew that it appeared it be a domestic. Although Smithy managed to handle most situations with a calm approach situations like this turned his stomach, at times he found it hard to control his anger. Smithy had a hidden pain that few people knew about; for years he suffered at the hands of his abusive father and this was one of the reasons that he objected to having children. He couldn't bear if he inflicted the pain his father inflicted on him onto his own children.

When they reached the flat it was clear that there had been signs of forced entry, as the door appeared to be hanging from its hinges. Entering the flat Roger and Smithy separated, while Roger searched downstairs Smithy took a look upstairs. As he reached the landing various doors stood out, choosing a random one he opened it slowly as not to alarm that may be inside the room. Surprisingly it was not as he expected, huddled in the corner of the room were three children; the older one appeared to be shielding the other two in her arms. Taking back with shock Smithy stood silent as thoughts ran through his mind, acting on impulse he walked over to the children still making no sound. The eldest embraced the other two even tighter in her arms and Smithy could clearly see the fear in his eyes. He knew that it was time to speak, time to calm them down,

"It's Ok, Im Sergeant Dale Smith from Sun Hill I aint' gonna hurt ya" He said comforting them.

The girl was still wary of him but her grip on her siblings loosened, Smithy saw this and called for Roger.

….

Meanwhile Yvonne and Kerry were walking through Canley Park, Yvonne knew that Kerry wouldn't want to talk but she knew that she had a lot on her chest that would not do any good bottled up.

"You know if you want to talk you can Kerry, you want be boring me" Yvonne prompted,

Kerry just shrugged and carried on walking,

"In your time when you feel ready then" Yvonne carried on,

"Yvonne I just don't want to talk OK!" she spat walking further in front before stopping and turning to face Yvonne again,

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap. I have plenty of hormones at the moment let alone my other troubles" Kerry apologised.

"That's Ok" Yvonne smiled, before carrying on,

"You know it can't be doing you two any good being under the same roof why don't you come and stay with me for a while?"

"Thanks Yvonne, but I don't wanna be a burden on you" Kerry said,

"Nah I could do with some company my love life's as good as yours" Yvonne joked,

Kerry found slight humour in it and smiled slightly although the pain was visible.

…

At the station Smithy handed the young girl a soft drink, she thanked him and pulled upon the ring pull. The fizzing noise filled the air as Smithy sat on the chair opposite leaning slightly forward with his hands clasped together. Smithy's change in body language was an obvious difference to his usual slumped back in the chair state. But this time the case was different, as he knew how the girl felt, granted she had not said what had happened but it was clear to see.

"So are you gonna' tell me what happened then." He said smiling searching for something from her,

The girl looked at the floor in response, Smithy knew that this wouldn't be an easy case; physically or mentally.

"Y'know your not alone we've got people you can talk to, like me for instance; all right I'm not your posh counsellor in a suit but I do know what your feeling." He sympathised,

Something Dale said must have registered with the girl as her eye line rose to meet Dale's, after studying him for a while she spoke,

"Where are my brother and sister I need to be with them?" she stated, her tone was not aggressive but docile.

"There with social services for now." He replied,

"Why am I not with them then I don't understand what's going on." She cried.

"It's ok you will be soon we just need to ask you a few questions; your not in trouble though. How did you get those bruises, did someone hurt you?" He implied.

Dale wanted to cut to the chase but in a delicate situation like this he knew that it wouldn't help.

The girl did not reply and her eye line fell to the floor again.

" You see the thing is we can't catch whoever did this to you if you can't tell us. Where was your mum, there was no-one in the house when we came around." The new sensitive side to him was one that shocked even him.

"She's dead. And if your asking who looks after us my dad does and if your asking why he wasn't there its because he went for a walk ok." The girl said bluntly, contracting her whole body in and holding her legs into her chest.

"And do you think that what your dad does is ok" Smithy tried to state it in a way that showed no emotion but it was hard.

Just as the girl appeared to speak there was a knock on the door, Kerry faced Smithy and asked him to pop outside the room.

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Thanks For reading guys although this will probably be my last fic for quite some time as the school is going overboard with CW. Im having a word so you never know but for now ta ra! xxxxxxx 


	4. Slipping through my fingers

Testing Times

Chapter Four

Slipping through my fingers

Closing the door behind him he faced her, neither could make proper eye contact with each other even though it was a work matter. He could smell her scent and longed to caress her soft hair but he knew there wasn't much chance of things going back to how it used to.

"Erm…The dad has turned up at the front desk and is demanding to know what's going on." Kerry replied, it was clear that she was trying to keep her work attitude but even Dale saw through it.

"That's all I bloody need," He said, throwing his hand down from his head.

"Well he's waiting when you're ready" she said, slightly fidgety.

Yvonne was waiting for Kerry further down the corridor, when Kerry reached Yvonne her eyes struggled to focus in. Yvonne did not see and started to walk down the corridor. Kerry stood still with one hand balancing her on the wall; the world around her appeared to be spinning constantly for ages. The call from Yvonne brought her out of the dazed world that surrounded her.

"You alright?" Yvonne asked as she looked at Kerry,

"Yeah I'm fine, I just need some fresh air." She replied still not quite right.

"Men eh!" Yvonne laughed.

…

"What did she want?" the girl asked,

"Oh erm…she was just telling me that someone was waiting for me in reception" Smithy lied.

"No, she didn't my dad has been in touch, please don't say that you've let him see my brother and sister" She panicked.

Smithy could see the same anxiety in the girl that he once saw in him self,

"Its ok their safe alright. None of your are going anywhere unsafe so are you going to talk to me now?" he questioned.

…

They pulled up to the dock, surrounded by empty warehouses the passenger door flew open and Kerry stepped out; squatting by the side of the car she vomited. Worried Yvonne stepped out of the car and walked around to Kerry, by now she had stopped and Yvonne helped her onto the seat of the car.

"Hey, you alright?" Yvonne asked,

Rubbing her forehead Kerry replied agitatedly,

"No, Yvonne I feel awful. I don't understand I haven't eaten anything bad or drunk any alcohol, I feel like im going to die."

"Your not… you know…pregnant are you?" Yvonne suggested,

Kerry whimpered at sat back in the seat.

"I think you need to go home Kerry you can't work like this" Yvonne stated, worried about her friend.

"I don't have a home remember and the last thing I want is Dale thinking im pregnant I can't face it." Kerry cried.

"Come back to mine like I said Kerry, after all what are mates for?" Yvonne smiled.

…

"Since my mum died he's got worse, saying that I was the reason she died. He hits me every time he comes back from the pub. I thought mum just wanted to ruin our family but now I know what she went through. He was the reason she died not me. " She cried uncontrollable tears.

"Will you tell this to someone else as well?" Smithy asked,

"Why? You're a sergeant, you don't care do you im just another result to you." She whelped,

"That aint' true im here to help." He replied looking at her.

Shrugging she replied,

"How can you help he'll just get off with it and then he will kill me do you understand what its like everyday hoping that your never going to wake up?" She shouted,

"Yeah, I do." Dale bluntly said, staring at the floor.

"Really. What's the point in helping me anyway if he does get off everyone's going to think I'm a nut job like him they always do."

"Am I a nut job? Because I don't think I am, no one thinks different of me because my dad did exactly the same to me. The only person who thinks different of me _is _me. And that's because I didn't do what your doing now." Smithy's tone became hateful towards him and reminded him of why he no longer had Kerry.

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Well there you go folks chapter five done and dusted, thats been sitting there for a while ans actually managed to move my bum and post it. Thinking of retiring from fics but will update you on that later xxxx 


	5. Reflection

Testing Times

Chapter Five

Reflection

She felt as if the whole bed creaked as she moved just the tiniest fraction but to her it was miles better than being under Dales feet. Looking up at the ceiling a pang of loneliness hit her as stroked her hand over her slightly raised abdomen. She heard Yvonne's footsteps painting the floorboards and rolled over to face the wall with a single teardrop rolling down her warm face. She was still unsure whether Dale knew about the baby deep down or not, to her it seemed obvious but he never paid that much attention to her figure. To him she was perfect and always would be.

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He lay in the empty bed looking at the space at the side of him; her scent was spread across the pillow as he rested his head on it. It all seemed perfect; they seemed perfect where did it go wrong? He stared at the picture opposite him; he loved that picture it showed how truly in love they were. He loved her deeply and knew deep down that he caused the split but the wounds were too cavernous to repair at that moment. His mind seemed to overloaded as if it was about to boil over any minute, scars from his childhood were reappearing on his skin but no one was there to heal them. He wanted to help the girl more than anything but knew that he was going to deep; would he ever rise above the mountain?

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"Morning, you look like shit" Yvonne laughed as she saw Kerry walk into the kitchen.

"What do you expect, I feel like shit and its early" She replied as she walked over to the toaster.

"So…" Yvonne said as she turned around on her chair before carrying on

"The baby".

"What about it" She replied bluntly as she slid a slice of toast down into the toaster.

"You going to tell its father that he's going to be a daddy" She said, looking at Kerry with a comic expression when describing Smithy as a daddy. Everyone who knew him knew that those words could never go together.

"I don't know, I just don't know. I still love him but we could argue for days on end over this I just can't face his reaction." She cried as she sat back at the table.

She wiped the tear from her eye and Yvonne looked at her friend who cried out in pain, she smiled and Kerry smiled slightly back in return before giving into the tears.

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The water hit his face and spread a warm sensation over his skin, he hurt more than he realised. Putting back the soap he dissolved into tears, biting on his hand to hold the emotions back. He feared he lost his one true love all because of his past, and now it was back to remind him why he could no longer go on with that one true love.

Once out of the shower he took a deep breath and faced the reality, he knew that the break was final and needed to grieve for his loss.

Picking up the dark grey phone he dialled a number and waited for a reply.

Putting on a gravelly voice he spoke,

"Gina its me, I'm not well I wont be in today"

Between a forced cough Gina replied,

"Why don't you tell me the truth Smithy, I know you your jobs your life there's more to this."

"That's the problem Gina I don't want that to be the only thing in my life but it is, Kerry's left me and I just can't face work." He said in a normal voice.

"She's left you so you're not coming in, do you think she cares about you because I've just seen her walk past my window." She said, her words harsh.

The phone rang silent and it was clear that he had gone from the other line.

Collapsing back on the sofa he buried his head in his hands and thought about Gina's words, what if they were true what if Kerry really didn't care after all it was her that appeared cold towards the end.

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The briefing room appeared quiet as everyone piled in; Gina was pleased to see Smithy make an appearance, even if it was due to her cruel words. Seeing Kerry on the other hand was not so pleasing, she couldn't help but see the difference in her but put it down to a heavy night, as she was renowned for that. Alarm hit her as she realised her words to Smithy probably came at the wrong time, he was down to work with Kerry.

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Wow I beat my record for the quickest writing time that took 40 minutes you judge whether it comprimised the quality please r+r! xx 


	6. The Blessing

Testing Times

Chapter Six

The Blessing

The atmosphere was so thick that it could be cut with a knife; neither knew what to say or whether they should say anything at all. Smithy became fixated with the road in front of him while Kerry hung her head out of the window as she tried to control her sickness.

"Do you think that there could be a chance between us again?" He asked, looking at her slightly although keeping his eye firmly on the route ahead. Before answering Kerry paused and swallowed slightly,

"I don't know Smithy what if a couple of years down the line were both unhappy because one of us is living the life we don't want" She said, still looking out of the window only turning around to face him at the last minute.

It seemed to be a quiet day so Smithy took advantage of that and pulled over in the closest lay by.

"I've been thinking a lot lately since you left and I really don't want to lose you Kerry, I mean if we were to have kids they would be ours no one else's you can't help but love them." He said more optimistic than he had been for a while.

This was an improvement on Smithy's feelings towards their future but Kerry couldn't help but feel a slight uncertainty about it.

"What if we did go through with it and you found it hard to bond with the baby I really would be left holding the baby then wouldn't I" subconsciously she let her hand fall to her stomach.

Smithy glanced over and saw this, he didn't no what to say; was she pregnant or was it just a coincidence. Kerry was staring at Smithy trying to work out why he happened to be focusing in on her, and then it clicked.

"Are you pregnant" he finally said, more convinced than before. This was due to the expression on her face.

"Erm… yeah" She replied, at this point she noticed the distinct smile across Smithy's face.

They both had began to forget what happiness felt like but Smithy felt proud; proud that he was about to father a child but proud that the recent events had made him realise he was in no way like _his_ father. He placed his hand on her stomach and felt for his baby under the various layers of police uniform. His reaction convinced Kerry to go with her heart and she shed tears although they were happy tears.

She leant closer and rested her head on his shoulder, could this be the happiness they both dearly wanted?

The next day 

Smithy smiled as he walked past Kerry on custody, she had been apprehensive at first about telling Gina about the baby but after her last pregnancy it was for the best. Tony and June came through the backdoor to custody armed with a suspect and walked over to Kerry on custody. The suspect appeared restless and was quite hard to get details from, it was obvious that he had been taking some drugs but they were unsure what.

"Have you taken anything in the last twenty-four hours sir?" Tony asked while restraining him.

"Why do I have to tell you, you stupid bastard?" He said attempting to wriggle out of the two restraints.

Looking at June Kerry walked from behind the custody to be at the same level as Tony, June and the suspect.

"I'll go and get someone from the FME to check him over" She said slightly nervous about being this close to someone so wired up.

"Wouldn't mind checking you over" he said leaning towards her as he went to grope her.

Repulsed by this Kerry pushed him away but this only angered him further, feeling rejected he pushed her with the greatest force he could towards the fascia of the custody suite.

She lay there as if she was looking out on the scene, Tony and June now had assistance and the suspect was being directed towards the cells. Her body was wracked with pain, but the source concentrated at the lower part of her stomach.

Smithy rushed into the custody suite when he heard the commotion and saw a rather distressed Kerry crouched on the floor. They exchanged glances and tears rolled down her face,

"He hit my stomach," she cried.

Smithy rubbed his hand over his face then helped her from the floor. With a little help he got her into his car and drove her to St Hughes, throughout the hospital he held her hand, which she held even tighter.

Upon arriving on a side ward she was given attention to by a midwife, she had never been more scared about the future before and it showed. Stroking her hand he stared at her, hoping to take the attention away from what was happening.

She tried to curl up in a ball to blot out the pain but it didn't help, her eyes looked helpless as she looked back at Smithy.

"I'm so sorry Smithy," she cried while coming to terms with the fact that she was losing this baby.

"It aint' your fault" he said while brushing his hand slowly down her face.

He knew it wasn't her fault, he knew exactly whose it was and was intent on hurting him the way he had hurt him and Kerry.

The abdominal pains were calming now and it was evident that the miscarriage was coming to an end, she felt numb when she realised that she was no longer carrying her baby and the nurse started to clear away.

He cupped his hands around her chin as he stared into her tear stained but still beautiful face. Neither of them said anything, instead they just sat there hand in hand exchanging words with their faces.

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This is the last chapter but one of this fic but i am planning a sequel! please R+R its taking yonks to write this xxx


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